I understand now why missions are sometimes hard. Not because of physical things that occur, at least not for me in this point and time in my mission. But because of the spiritual and emotional pain that you go through, when you love the people with all of your heart and see them suffer. It is the best and the worst, to learn to love the people, to become their family and then be powerless. But that's the beauty of this gospel, to watch the Atonement of Christ heal the hearts and the souls of those whose souls have been trodden on by the world. This is the true church, this is the gospel of Jesus Christ that has been given to us for the welfare of not only us but our families and those that we come to love so dearly.
We've had some really awesome lessons with people that aren't necessarily our investigators but are wonderful nonetheless. At the museum, we have been talking to the director. He's been attempting to embark on a spiritual journey to find the truth, to understand the whole reason for it all. We had a really neat lesson in his office (doors open of course) where we gave him the Book of Mormon and told him about the spiritual journeys that we have been on. He was really touched by it and asked us to come back. We met with Carmen y Tomas this week as well, we had dinner with them even and got to meet her mom. We didn't get to have a lesson per se, but we shared our testimonies of Christ, how we have personally been changed by His Atonement. I tend to feel a little bit small next to Hna Dungan often because she is so much older and has so much life experience under her belt. But I learned that simple testimonies can be just as powerful because they are something that everyone can find.
Transfers were a little crazy, my new companion is Hermana Marble and she is about to go home! It's definitely a new experience for me to have gone from a missionary much older than me in years and young in the mission, to young in years and old in the mission. We've had a lot of fun though, with a healthy amount of stress but it's so worth it.
I'm so grateful to be a missionary. There are so many things that happen that are impossible to explain to anyone without every other participant. It is something so special and truly a treasure. During planning this week I had a little bit of a panicky moment. I have gotten out of training and am now supposed to take over the area. And we have no investigators. Which means it was a long time of going through the area book and finding every possible potential we could imagine to visit next week. I'm learning a lot about myself. At one point I started laughing/crying because who the heck thought I could do this. And my companion answered, "Heavenly Father." Of course that just made me worse because it is so humbling to be put in a situation that is a little bit bigger than you are and realize that it's because Heavenly Father trusts you with it.
I love this church and I love being a missionary.
Sister Jaycie Baird
Washington Yakima Mission